Wednesday, July 09, 2008

[mood: confused]
[location: in the place where I block everything out]
[now playin': Kidnap My Heart - The Click Five]

Sometimes, I wonder. Why do I care so much about others? Why do I feel so much when I shouldn't? Why do I love someone who's always ignorant to my feelings in one way or another?

You know,
I hate myself for being too decisive when I shouldn't be.
I hate myself for pretending I'm alright on the inside when I'm clearly not.
I hate myself for caring too much about others and how they feel.
I hate myself for always falling for someone who I shouldn't
I hate myself for thinking too much.
I hate myself for reading too much into things.
I hate myself for regreting my actions
I hate myself for acting like everything's normal in my life.
I hate myself for not getting what I want in life.
I hate myself for my "dramatic" imaginations that always leaves my thoughts running wild
I hate myself for being so naive.

I can go on with this list forever!

I wanna block all these out and throw all my pessimism O-U-T!
Yeah.
No bullshit yo!
It's emotionally, mentally & physically tiring to keep this up.
It really is....

Anyway, school was fine today. Not as draggy as I thought it'd be. Long day though. I did well for my Chemistry Practical test. But not so well gor my physics this time round. The graph was a frigging KILLER! No kidding yo!

We were having Chemistry ASP and being me, I was chit chatting away until Mrs Yue mentioned my name as an example of grouping & that my group of people are a talkative group. LOL. Major comedy. Okay, Mithran has 2 more scandals but HE FORBIDS ME TO MENTION IT HERE LOL. Okay. So as I was saying, I was laughing about GOD-knows-what till I heard Mrs Yue repeating some dumb question. LOL. As I wasnt paying attention, I asked her to repeat it and then......

I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT THE CORRECT ANSWER!

LOL!

She was shocked! haha. Actually, I just answeres according to the chemical equation. To be frank, I didnt listen to the question she asked even thought she repeated it like thrice? LOL.

"I don't DO questions! I DO THE ASKING!"

- Diyana with her bitchy accent

PE was awesome(except I was still in the process of not bringing my PE attire)! We played captain's ball! YIPEE! And yanyan was awesome! (If I say so myself! :D) I was trying to act heroINE so from the middle of the court, I tried my luck by throwing the ball to crist - who was the keeper - and guess what? IT WORKED! FROM A FAR DISTANCE, I MANAGED TO MAKE IT REACH CRIST & SHE CAUGHT IT!!! This happened
TWICE!

"Okay, I'm darn good!"

LOL.

Self-praise I know!

HAHA! Okay, so as Mel & I were going home, we stopped at the foyer to check out the boards there & we laughed at the teacher's photos when they were in there college/high school life.

SUPER HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!

Then suddenly,


Mel: DIYANA! You won't believe this!!
Me: Huh? What? *walks over to where Mel is*


And what I saw was REALLY UNBELIEVEABLE! My "lazy & instant" essay on "My Friends" was up on the board! It had loads of photos even the one taken at my house's gathering & the national day gathering we(as in some of the eXe2s & myself)had. It also had Ben's dumb facial expression! LOL. And obviously the sisterhood's photos. I was so dumbfounded luh! I dint expect mine to be up. Cos I just wrote it for the sake of completing it. LOL. SURPRISE SURPRISE! =D So go check it out alrighty? :)

Okay, since I told ABDULLAH I would update about HOW SEXY & HOT HE IS Him, I shall do just that! Lol. I don't know what to blog about you but here goes!

Abdullah is a Cadet Inspector(CI) for CSS' Npcc Unit. He is a very GAY - as in happy & really gay - kinda guy. LOL. (Not really gay la. I was Kiddin' 'bout that.) He's a fun-loving person & a great person to be gay & hang-out with. He's rather patient - which CERTAINLY a virtue which 9/10 guys I know DO NOT HAVE - LOL. He clearly view himself as HOT & SEXY & I do not wish to comment further on that. LOL!!!!!! He also knows of my husband-to-be, Renfred Ng! :D And he doesn't think Renfred is as adorable as I think he is!! HMPF! *pouts*

Okay Abdullah! I'm DONE! haha.*grins*

I guess that's all for now. I wanted to write a whole load of things but I shan't write it here. Not a good idea. SHall update in my other blog instead.