mood: lazy
location: room
now playin':
It's the eve of hari raya.:)
Yes, today is that last day of the fasting month this year. I look back at it and I realised....my appetite has grown really small. HAHAHHAH.
Okay on a more serious note, many things have been happening these past couple of weeks. Bad things have one after another. It never rains, it pours! I struggle to have the patience and understanding and to forgive. Over and over again I am filled with hatred, sadness and annoyance.
Whatever happened to that girl that was once a happy-go-lucky girl that just couldnt stop smiling??
I ask myself that question everytime I feel like shit. I get so upset. Yes, even the smallest insult can send me running in tears.
Where is that bitchy girl who throws a worse insult to the person who insulted her??
Idk what's been going on with me. I looked back that the past 8months plus. I've changed, alot. I've lost and found love and lost it again. I've talked till dawn and slept till evening. And I've found and lost friends. I found hope, and lost it. Friends, sometimes I ask myself, what are friends for? When I feel like shit at 3am, who the fuck can I call to cry to? WHO? But when people need me at 3am to talk to them when they feel like shit, I'm always there. When I need to talk so badly and in tears, I need to call someone but everyone is so busy with their lives. But when they need to talk, I drop whatever I'm doing to be there with them. I'm not saying I expected people to do the same for me just because I do that for them but why is it that I seem to treasure my friends more than they fucking treasure me. I feel like someone people just seem to remember when they're in trouble. But no, this definitely doesnt apply to all my friends. Because I know of those who were there when I was in deep shit in secondary school (apparently i was like a magnet and trouble was so attracted to me).
And then there are those who get close to me all because they want to get to know my guy/girl friends. I hate being used, even more, by people I consider to be my friends. I hate people who get to know me for motives. I DESPISE people like that.
So where is that girl who takes everything in her stride and not let herself be used??
No idea. But then, I found people who I once made up a judgment about them based on first impression. But when shit finally happened, they were there. Even though I can't call them because they're just oh-so busy, but sometimes, they calm me down. And I found such people in my new class, W46L. Even though we arent gonna be in the same class next semester, I guess memories are for keepers. :) Thanks guys.
And then I think about my family life. I've been whiny and cranky. Many many shit have been happening and I'm losing my way. Now, I just want everything to be okay. I really do. I wished it was all a nightmare which I can wake up from. But alas, it apparently isnt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, enough. I should talk about happy stuffs. Okie dokie. Eve of Hari Raya already.
My 17th is soon...like...in 22days. :)
Went shopping with Aishah that day. Bought stuffs and when to meet mom. Spent like half of my 500bucks angbao. -.- i need more moolahh~ Oh yeah, Aishah & I had a great bitching-cum-catching up session. lol. And I went shopping while I was sick. HAHAH. Came home and it just got worse. Sneezed like mad, coughed like mad and was feverish.
Finally decided to bake yesterday. Quite late luh. It wasnt as nice as the previous years cos my sis & I baked it while we were fasting, due to time constraint. So yeah, but it was nice though. Gave some to Dick & WenJie. Then baked brownies. Watched teevo while everyone was cleaning up the house. LOL. Lazy luh. So yeah. Blah blah blah, now my room is neat, NOT. The dressing table is messy, AGAIN. I'm gonna clean it soon.
Still sick though, but not as bas as I was 2 days back. My throat feels like..idk man. My voice is so DEEP & SEXAYYYYEE~ HAHA. My nose can totally compete with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. -.-
Oh and and and and. I'VE LOST WEIGHT. :D:D I still look chubby luh. I mean c'mon, how much difference would you look losing only 2kg right? So anyways, IN YOUR FACE to that whoever who said all my diet plans are failures. _|_ Soooo...I'm planning to wear ALL BLACK tmr. Along with my bad & heels. I'm planning to really piss the other side off. I DARE them to suan me in anyway. Seriously. Lol.
Yes, today is that last day of the fasting month this year. I look back at it and I realised....my appetite has grown really small. HAHAHHAH.
Okay on a more serious note, many things have been happening these past couple of weeks. Bad things have one after another. It never rains, it pours! I struggle to have the patience and understanding and to forgive. Over and over again I am filled with hatred, sadness and annoyance.
Whatever happened to that girl that was once a happy-go-lucky girl that just couldnt stop smiling??
I ask myself that question everytime I feel like shit. I get so upset. Yes, even the smallest insult can send me running in tears.
Where is that bitchy girl who throws a worse insult to the person who insulted her??
Idk what's been going on with me. I looked back that the past 8months plus. I've changed, alot. I've lost and found love and lost it again. I've talked till dawn and slept till evening. And I've found and lost friends. I found hope, and lost it. Friends, sometimes I ask myself, what are friends for? When I feel like shit at 3am, who the fuck can I call to cry to? WHO? But when people need me at 3am to talk to them when they feel like shit, I'm always there. When I need to talk so badly and in tears, I need to call someone but everyone is so busy with their lives. But when they need to talk, I drop whatever I'm doing to be there with them. I'm not saying I expected people to do the same for me just because I do that for them but why is it that I seem to treasure my friends more than they fucking treasure me. I feel like someone people just seem to remember when they're in trouble. But no, this definitely doesnt apply to all my friends. Because I know of those who were there when I was in deep shit in secondary school (apparently i was like a magnet and trouble was so attracted to me).
And then there are those who get close to me all because they want to get to know my guy/girl friends. I hate being used, even more, by people I consider to be my friends. I hate people who get to know me for motives. I DESPISE people like that.
So where is that girl who takes everything in her stride and not let herself be used??
No idea. But then, I found people who I once made up a judgment about them based on first impression. But when shit finally happened, they were there. Even though I can't call them because they're just oh-so busy, but sometimes, they calm me down. And I found such people in my new class, W46L. Even though we arent gonna be in the same class next semester, I guess memories are for keepers. :) Thanks guys.
And then I think about my family life. I've been whiny and cranky. Many many shit have been happening and I'm losing my way. Now, I just want everything to be okay. I really do. I wished it was all a nightmare which I can wake up from. But alas, it apparently isnt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, enough. I should talk about happy stuffs. Okie dokie. Eve of Hari Raya already.
My 17th is soon...like...in 22days. :)
Went shopping with Aishah that day. Bought stuffs and when to meet mom. Spent like half of my 500bucks angbao. -.- i need more moolahh~ Oh yeah, Aishah & I had a great bitching-cum-catching up session. lol. And I went shopping while I was sick. HAHAH. Came home and it just got worse. Sneezed like mad, coughed like mad and was feverish.
Finally decided to bake yesterday. Quite late luh. It wasnt as nice as the previous years cos my sis & I baked it while we were fasting, due to time constraint. So yeah, but it was nice though. Gave some to Dick & WenJie. Then baked brownies. Watched teevo while everyone was cleaning up the house. LOL. Lazy luh. So yeah. Blah blah blah, now my room is neat, NOT. The dressing table is messy, AGAIN. I'm gonna clean it soon.
Still sick though, but not as bas as I was 2 days back. My throat feels like..idk man. My voice is so DEEP & SEXAYYYYEE~ HAHA. My nose can totally compete with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. -.-
Oh and and and and. I'VE LOST WEIGHT. :D:D I still look chubby luh. I mean c'mon, how much difference would you look losing only 2kg right? So anyways, IN YOUR FACE to that whoever who said all my diet plans are failures. _|_ Soooo...I'm planning to wear ALL BLACK tmr. Along with my bad & heels. I'm planning to really piss the other side off. I DARE them to suan me in anyway. Seriously. Lol.
