Smudged Mascara

mood: Sick
now playin':Heartbeat - 2PM

credits: http://bit.ly/a2U6mU

Today I learnt....I'm not a superwoman. I'm so average. I should stop bottling up my feelings, no matter how little it may seem to be. Because one day, I will burst out. I will breakdown so badly that I will lose control.

And today, is THAT day.

Today was just a terribly emotional day for me. I think I've been bottling up my emotions and feelings for far too long. And me being sick & having an effin' guailan faci really made things worse. I think also maybe because I'm a really heavy thinker. I think so much that it's gonna be hazardous for me to even think! & The way I cried today was omg. Non-stop. All one had to do was to ask me what happened/stare at me/hug me and I would end up crying really badly all over again.

I think I shocked many people. Not only was I pale & sickly looking, I was also really quiet and upset. EMO to be exact. And I'm not a fan of crying in school. In fact, I don't like crying infront of people. So like even my last semester classmates hasn't seen me cry. Not even Kim. Until...today.

People said that they weren't used to me being so quiet and all. In fact, they preferred the vulgar, noisy and cheeky me. Oh, the irony.

So yeah, I'm sorry to all those I replied rudely or did not reply at all to on MSN. And I snapped at. I'm really sorry because I feel like an utter nuisance.

Thank you to all those who cared enough to ask me if I was alright/to ask me to cheer up, to those who hugged me and said, "It's gonna be alright" and to those who wiped away my tears (with my mascara terribly smudged) and to those who simply cheered me up.

Yall have no idea how much that means to me. I never knew so many people were there for me. Even the phrase,"cheer up!" made me feel so loved. Thank you! I love yall to bits. (L)

why were you so indifferent when you saw me cry?